Family Karma, What We Can Do
When we get married, the energies of both partners interact according to the law of synergy. Both negatives and positives in the spouses are amplified as if having been put under a magnifying glass. All our advantages and disadvantages increase manifold when a family is created.
The Vedas explain that a family is the extended ego of its members. Therefore, there is a tendency to increase egoism. We identify with our spouses, our children, our close relatives. They become a part of us, motivating us to do everything for our home and family. This is normal and there is nothing wrong with it.
At the same time, we can easily forget about our duties to the world around us: our parents, friends, and society. As the result, selfishness can develop and destroy the family. Moreover, as children grow up in such a family, they also become consumer-oriented over time. The Vedic culture states: it is necessary to neutralize the selfishness of the family. Otherwise, it will bring suffering. Egoism is a power that always brings suffering.
It is crucial not to close up in the narrow space of the family, because otherwise we exhaust each other.
Below are several ways we can revitalize the giving-receiving energy of our families. When this energy flows unobstructed, the Goddess of prosperity, Lakshmi Devi, is attracted in our life.
- It is very important that people who marry take care of someone other than their family members. It does not matter how big our expenses are. It depends on our financial opportunities. It does not have to be big charitable programs or something that large. It can be 1-2 people, who stand outside the circle of our family egoism: people whom we can take care of without personal interest. God reads our hearts and judges based on our motives, not on visible deeds. The amount of our giving should be decent but not so large as to cause us regret.
- It is very helpful to feed others, especially saints, monks, people who are engaged in spiritual life, and wandering people who depend on God. If they agree to have lunch or dinner with us, our family is blessed.
- The family must serve the community. The Vedas recommend that the wife be responsible for reminding the whole family of the need to serve others in order to fight family egoism. We must share, giving something away (clothes, food, time, attention, money etc.)
- We need to make sure there we have guests and the house is open to others. It is very auspicious to feed people, to feed guests, birds and animals, to grow and water plants. It is not necessary to have pets inside the house, especially in the kitchen and the bedroom. The lower the intelligence of a creature living in an apartment or house, the more it becomes the center of the family. The less intelligent a creature, the more egoism it has, and the more selfish the family members become. Unfortunately, because such a dog or cat does not serve his master, he degrades; the person next to him degrades too. If you already have a pet, try to restrict access to the kitchen and bedroom and give this creature an opportunity to progress, that is, to serve you instead of yourself serving it.
- It is very important to have an altar in the house, a place where you can place things that are considered sacred in your tradition (icons, statues, holy books, images of saints, holy water or soil). If not a believer, place an image of someone you hold in esteem. This works in miraculous way. If there is an altar and worship, people tend to listen to each other. That is, the altar is a protection for every person and relationship.
- Remember, that lecturing our loved ones is useless. We must show by example. Usually our relatives are not inclined to listen or acknowledge their loved ones in general. This is how family egoism works. There is no prophet in his own country – a well-known statement of the Bible. The family karma is created so that we become attracted and marry people that are specifically sharpened to our imperfections and vice versa. Therefore, we are progressing as human beings when we learn to value and celebrate our differences rather than “improve” each other. To change a partner will not help at all because to our existing karmic debt we add the reaction for a divorce.
TODAY’S TIP: The energy in a family that does not engage in charitable activities, does not invite guests, and does not expand its framework becomes stagnant, as in a swamp. The above-mentioned remedies help expand, heal, and replenish this power of love and appreciation.